A LICHFIELD woman who helped organise a ‘living wake’ for her husband with the help of their friends before he died from cancer is sharing her story as part of Dying Matters Awareness Week.
Julie Ashford-Martin’s husband, Richard, was cared for at St Giles Hospice before he died in March 2018 at the age of 46.
In his final months, the couple and their friends hosted a celebration of life that Richard could participate in – giving him “one last party” surrounded by loved ones.
The experience later inspired the creation of Groovy Festival, keeping Richard’s memory and spirit alive through music and community.
Julie, 57, is now speaking out to encourage others to have open conversations as part of this year’s Dying Matters Awareness Week which runs until 11th May and aims to break down the stigma and taboo around death.
She said:
“We were referred to St Giles by our doctor. We had their at-home team coming to us for about a year and then Richard came to the hospice for the last week of his life.
“The team made the worst week of my life into something that me and his children and our friends still talk about with fondness.
“The beautiful team there even allowed us to have a friend come and play his guitar and sing to to him at the end of his bed.”
Julie said she believes people deserve a choice in how they mark their death.
“You choose through your life, most of us choose what we do – we should be able to choose how we die as well and I don’t think people have that choice.
“Death is part of life and maybe we need to rethink how we think about that because it’s not the end. Because as long as you talk about people, the memories are there which keeps them with you.
“It doesn’t have to be sad. I’ve got the most incredible memories of the things that we did and the music we listened to and the festivals we went to and the living wake that we had.
“That gets me through because it isn’t all about sadness, it’s about remembering the good times as well instead of focusing just on the bad.”