The mother of a man who died in a crash near Lichfield says life will never be the same following the loss of her son.
Ross Hartland had left work early on 15th July 2022 to go and spend a weekend in Stratford-upon-Avon with a woman he was dating.
But as he was travelling along the A5 near Wall Island when another car being driven at more than 80mph ploughed into the back of him, forcing his vehicle off the road and into a tree.
Ross suffered serious head and chest injuries in the crash which saw him taken to intensive car. After 12 days, tests revealed significant brain damage and the 40-year-old’s family made the decision to switch off his life support machine.
His mother, Jakki Hartland, said the loss of her son continued to leave a gaping hole in the life of the whole family.
“Ross was the heartbeat of every social setting he was in. I know it’s a cliché, but he really did light up a room.
“He just had this wicked sense of humour and he had no filters at all when he was talking to someone.
“He was also incredibly generous, especially with his time, which is particularly cruel when you consider that he didn’t even have that much of it in the end.
“But the most haunting part of remembering all of the amazing things about my son is that, whenever I think about being with him in those moments, I just feel so guilty.
“Guilty that I never took a second longer to look at his infectious smile or that mischievous glint in his eye, guilty that life has worked out the wrong way around – that the child has died while the parent is still alive – and guilty that, despite telling him every day, I didn’t tell him more often how much I love him.
“It’s a guilt that never goes away, and in some ways, I don’t want it to, because it’s almost like if I ever get over losing Ross, if I ever come to terms with what happened, and if this anchor-like guilt ever stops weighing me down, then it will be like I’ve forgotten him.
“I’ve still got a voicemail from him on my phone. Whenever I need to hear him just to get me through the day, I listen to his voice and, just for a little while, it feels like he’s still with me.”
Jakki Hartland
Jakki has told her story as part of a Staffordshire Police initiative highlighting lives destroyed by dangerous drivers on the county’s roads.
Ross’ death has impacted many of those around him, including his sister who has attended support groups to come to terms with her grief and his youngest niece scared to travel by car.
Jakki said her own experience had made her feel constant pain.
“I’d be lying if I said that life was, in any way, good.
“I walk around with this knife pushed deep into my heart. I defy you to find me someone that could enjoy life while suffering that kind of pain.
“Honestly, I don’t even know who I am anymore. But what I do know is that I will never be that same person again. It’s like I’m not Jakki, I’m just living life through the eyes of someone else.
“I’ve slowly retreated into my shell and I just can’t bring myself to come out. I don’t go anywhere now and I can only really handle seeing a select circle of people that I keep safe.
“Even when I do see other people, they have no idea what to say to me anymore. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I’ll be asked ‘how are you doing without Ross?’. I’m quite good at putting up a front, but the whole time, I’m thinking ‘If only you knew’.”
Jakki Hartland
Jakki said she now attends monthly sessions with The Compassionate Friends support group for bereaved parents.
“They have completely saved me. Every single person there has lost a child and that’s of any age, from baby to adult,.
“Everybody there understands what it is you’re going through. You don’t even have to say anything – everyone is there for the same reason. They know how I’m feeling and I know how they’re feeling.”
Jakki Hartland
“A pointless and selfish choice”
The driver who crashed into Ross was 22 at the time of the crash.
In October 2023, he pleaded guilty at Stafford Crown Court. Earlier this year, he was sentenced to 16 months in prison and disqualified from driving for 32 months.
Jakki said drivers needed to realise the way their own actions can have devastating impacts on the lives of others.
“There was no need for that young man to have been driving so fast. It was a pointless and selfish choice that’s taken my boy away from me.
“People need to be more responsible. It’s as simple as that. But I think that those attitudes begin at home. If you’ve got parents that go through life with the mentality that actions don’t have consequences and that other people’s lives don’t matter, then you are obviously going to have children that think the same way.
“All the time, you see people doing way more than 70mph on the motorway or doing 50mph in a 30mph zone, but I wonder how many of us actually think about the potential consequences of that choice to drive at that speed?
“If you are somebody that speeds, how much more quickly are you likely to reach your destination? One or two minutes maybe. On the flipside, how likely are you to be involved in a serious crash that could not only kill you, but anyone else on the road too?
“I don’t know where that young man was going that day, I don’t know why he was driving at the speed he was and I don’t know if he even saw my son before hitting him.
“But wherever he was going, however much of a hurry he was in, whatever else may have distracted him when he was behind the wheel, I wonder if he’s sat there in his prison cell thinking that it was all worth it?
“He’s killed someone’s brother, uncle, grandson, friend -and my son. And for what?
“Ross did nothing wrong that day. He was driving exactly as he should have been. He’s dead because of someone else’s actions.
“I’m broken and there is nothing that anyone can do or say that can put those pieces back together. But there is no need for anyone else to know what this pain feels like.”
Jakki Hartland
